How do you typically handle challenging situations, especially in the workplace? Do you find yourself reacting impulsively and showing all your cards, or do you take a moment to respond thoughtfully and tactfully?
Imagine a team meeting where tensions are running high due to conflicting opinions on a project approach. As the discussion intensifies, one team member becomes defensive, reacting impulsively to criticism from a colleague. Without pausing to consider their response, they retaliate with an eye-roll or a sharp remark, escalating the conflict and derailing the conversation.
In the heat of workplace conversations, reacting impulsively can fan the flames of conflict, leading to strained relationships and hindered productivity. On the flip side, responding thoughtfully can defuse tensions, foster understanding, and pave the way for constructive dialogue. But…how?
Today, we’ll delve into the difference between reacting and responding, and explore the impact each approach can have on our lives.
Reacting vs. Responding
Reacting often occurs in the heat of the moment, driven by emotions and instincts. It’s automatic and impulsive, lacking consideration for the consequences. It involves not just the words we use, but also the body language we express. Unfortunately, reacting hastily can lead to decisions or actions we may later regret.
On the other hand, responding involves taking a step back and consciously choosing how to act or what to say. It’s a more deliberate and thoughtful process that allows us to consider the situation from various perspectives. It involves the power of silence, or the reflective pause.
There are very few day-to-day circumstances that require an immediate response.
To help cultivate the art of responding, I’d like to share with you to the STOPP technique:
🛑 Stop: Pause for a moment. This simple action signals to your mind and body to take a break before reacting impulsively.
🌬 Take a breath: Inhale deeply, then exhale slowly. This practice calms your nervous system and provides a brief moment to collect your thoughts.
👀 Observe: Take notice of what’s happening both internally and externally. What thoughts and emotions are arising? What is the context of the situation?
🔄 Pull back: Gain perspective by considering the bigger picture. Ask yourself: What assumptions am I making? Will this matter in the grand scheme of things?
Practice what works: Choose a response that is helpful and constructive. Rather than reacting out of habit, opt for a solution-oriented approach that promotes growth and understanding.
One way to buy yourself additional time is to acknowledge what was shared and communicate that you will give it more thought. Suggest another time or day to revisit the conversation.
Call to Action:
The next time you find yourself in a difficult conversation or situation, try the STOPP technique. Then ask yourself these questions:
What did I learn about myself or the other person’s perspective?
What was the outcome?
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -Viktor E. Frankl
As we navigate life’s challenges, may we remember the power of that space and the freedom it grants us to shape our own destinies.
